Why are the true stages of motherhood never revealed?

Here you will find what they never told me about motherhood, what I discovered through the precious, demanding and hard experience of being a mother, looking back and after several years comparing women, seeing that these moments appear in all of them like unstoppable tides.

1. That illusion. That illusion about what is to come, with all your mixed but still controllable emotions, still. Your body changes and perhaps your appetite, your nausea, your brightness, you still recognize yourself entering the wheel of the adventure that begins... you run alone to venture into the world of...
2. Who is she? Hidden in a disoriented body in its hormonal storm that does not look like yours, that hurts, that resents, pulls and stretches, tired with heat strokes, mood swings, gaining weight on a roller coaster that will soon make its descent...
3. Will it be today? Full of fear, uncertainty and discomfort. The day will come... that day where you have to give everything, be it 1 or 24 hours, without experience, with or without an epidural, hospitalized or at home, without knowing how it will start, or where, or how... yes, with your suitcase packed although Never be around her when it happens.
4. The big dream . That's right, a lot of sleep, baby and adult cries, diapers, breasts! If they let you! Because around you they will be in charge of telling you the three million pieces of advice on parenting and breastfeeding that you have probably already read in the last nine months. This is where the “bad milk” comes from. Your mother, your husband, your baby... the most beautiful thing in the world sometimes turns into sensations that suffocate and push you to want to run and escape from yourself.
5. Bye bye baby! The separation. When you start to settle in with everything... say goodbye to your baby and go to work, you're done acting, you think the trip is over, you feel like you're stopping enjoying that vacation that lasted a week but started a year ago.
6. Where is my time. How can a routine change so much, now I know what routine is. You pursue a newly discovered routine while following the advice of the entire community of Earth mothers who seem to have forgotten that they too arrived at this time.
7. Stresseducation . They also became destructured, they went through the postpartum depression that little is talked about and even less is said about this depression that comes when your children walk on their own and run to venture into the world, leaving you behind with what is left of you and looking at your couple who seem to look at you critically from the nearest distance, you no longer know them or recognize you. Your social life, your relationship, your family life, your body, your hobbies... Will it be possible to start over?
8. Follow the tunnel until the light. But you know one thing! You can start again because after touching the ground at the bottom of the well and when it seems that our entire castle, which never really existed, gains momentum and breathes again, walks, smiles, you find again the woman that you have inside and you will take it out until you take on the world again, stopping living life through all the people around you, finding your center again. The light will come, I promise you, and in reality, it was always hidden inside you but you didn't even look at it so open the door and see your light to let you live again.

To all the mothers who fight united by imaginary umbilical cords to this humanity that will never know what they went through with motherhood until they complete the circle as mothers.

Cristina Oroz Bajo