The four Agreements.

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1. Be impeccable with your words.

The word is magic, it is a decree, it is a projection..., be careful with what you speak and especially with what you say to yourself, remember that there is no one more cruel to you. The words we verbalize or those we think are creating us every day. Expressions of complaint turn us into victims; the critics, into arrogant judges; A sexist language keeps us in an androcentric world, where man is the measure and the center of all things, and self-victimist disqualifications (poor me, I do everything wrong, how unlucky I am) defeat us beforehand.

2. Don't take anything personally.

Each person lives their own movie in which they are the protagonist facing their own odyssey, living their life and resolving their conflicts and personal miseries and each person does it the best they can within their circumstances and limitations. The rest of us are only extras in that movie that everyone makes of their life.

There is a lot of black magic outside, the same as there is inside yourself, or me. In anyone, at some point in their life, at some time of the day. We are all “emotional predators” at times.

«Taking things personally makes you easy prey for those predators, the black magicians... You eat all their emotional garbage and turn it into your own garbage. But if you don't take things personally, you will be immune to all poison even if you find yourself in the middle of hell," says Miguel Ruiz.

3. Don't make assumptions.

We tend to make assumptions and draw conclusions about everything. The problem is that by doing so we believe that what we assume is true and we create a reality about it.

«The way to avoid assumptions is to ask. Make sure things are clear to you… and even then, don't assume you know everything about that particular situation,” Miguel Ruiz insists. Ultimately, if you let yourself be guided by good will, you always have trust… and acceptance.

4. Always do your best.

The fourth and final agreement allows the other three to become deeply ingrained habits: Always do the most and the best you can. That being the case, whatever happens we will accept the consequences willingly. But we can always try to be impeccable with the word, not take it personally and not draw hasty conclusions... within our physical, emotional and general limitations of each moment. If we try, the best way we can, that's enough.

These agreements that seem simple are not simple and require internalization, a change in attitude, putting new eyes on life and what better way than to take the eyes that we look at every day, those of our teachers, our children. I will give you a very clear example from Andrea Mayoral who says like this…

When I finished reading these four agreements, I believed that I could carry out those agreements in a simple way, they seemed very easy to fulfill. But before long I found myself again berating the children, criticizing them for not doing things the way I wanted. And after the sermon I gave to both of them, I left them alone to tidy up their room.

But just as I closed the door I could hear a conversation that opened my eyes to that Toltec wisdom:

-Why is mommy angry? -asked the smallest one.

"Because she thinks we messed up the room to annoy her," the oldest said in a low voice.

-But are you angry with me?

-I don't think so, she's just angry with the toys.

-With the toys?

-They must have done something to him, so that every time he sees them on the floor, he starts screaming.

-But they haven't done anything to me, and every time we keep them they get very sad.

-Let's hide it under the bed. So mom won't scream anymore.

-I don't like it when mommy screams.

-Me neither. I'm scared of it. And when I can't play with my toys I get angry, but I prefer to be angry than to be afraid.

-I know what's wrong with mommy! -exclaimed the little one with enthusiasm-. I think he doesn't like toys, because he can't play with them anymore!

 A simple conversation that opened my heart and made me think that children see life like the Toltecs, and that, if I could remember how fantastic it was to see life from the perspective of children, I would be able to put an end to the dictatorship of the perfection that tormented my life. From that moment on, I have dedicated more time to playing with my children. Putting away the toys became a fun game that the three of us shared. Now I know that I am not perfect and neither are my children, they do what they do because it is what children do and not because they want to irritate me. I have not yelled at them again, or at least I have done my best not to and every day I try to fulfill those four agreements, both with my children, my husband, co-workers, friends and with people on the street because Life is not perfect and now I feel happier every day. (Mayoral, A.)