As we promised you after the Webinar on How to manage frustration and aggressiveness? Behavior tips for families and at the request of many families, here are some central points on this topic that we touch on live, so important and so difficult to handle.

We are evaluating this situation, with the first brushstrokes to understand the context before entering into the topic , from the beginning, why an analysis of what really worries us is necessary, the weight it has and the weapons we have to change that reality. , from home and with success.

EACH CASE IS UNIQUE: I want to start with the causes to know how to manage frustration and aggressiveness; If we know the origins it will be easier to intervene. Under the knowledge that everything in the world of children with disorders is complex and extensive, and there are no single solutions . Aggressive behaviors should always be taken as a top priority , no matter if they occur in young children or adults. The longer this type of behavior persists, the more entrenched it will be and the more time and effort it will take to extinguish it. Whether it is aggressive behavior towards the environment, other people or oneself, we must act as soon as possible.

ORIGINS: Within the origins of aggressive behaviors we will take into account 3 main causes, on the one hand Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD), Communication and Language Problems and Behavioral Problems. We are worried that in the next few days we will dedicate specific publications to each of these causes!

INTERVENTION:

1. PHARMACOLOGICAL: We cannot forget as the first response the pharmacological type , that is, medicating our children, generally leads us to a problem of scientific evidence that tells us that drugs are not the best option, that the risks are greater than the benefits, especially in children. However, at a certain point, it can be of great temporary use to do it in parallel with the intervention . One thing we have to be very clear about, in the case of prescribing drugs, it must be done by a professional with a medical accreditation . A psychiatrist, in the case of young children, a neuropediatrician or medical professionals are the professionals who can prescribe drugs. Age plays a very important role here; we more easily find specialists who want to work with a 5-year-old child and a 16-year-old adolescent. Approaching a boy who is 1.80m tall and weighs 100 kilos with aggressive problems requires a professional trained in containment techniques, to intervene without causing pain to the other person as a safety measure.
2. BEHAVIORAL: This is where we reach the central point of this webinar because we are convinced that the most appropriate intervention in these cases is behavior modification intervention and not only in the behavioral aspects but in all these aspects that in many cases will coexist with those behaviors that we see and are trying to redirect or eliminate.

STARTING POINT: I think something that we have to make clear as essential is that this type of behavior does not appear overnight . There is a progressive process of appearance . Possibly the family has tried to find the best solutions, but sometimes they never end up arriving and the result that brings us here today is generally bad and it is very important that changes begin as soon as possible.

As we always talk about the ideal, and the ideal is, that families who are starting in this world of behavior, once this type of behavior begins to appear, we can count on the support of professionals who can help us find out what the origin or origins of this behavior and we can have an intervention program, with a comprehensive approach to all the aspects that are influencing these behavioral managements .

TEAMWORK: It is very important that the family is part of the programming and intervention at all levels. It is very curious how sometimes we find that it is the child who modifies the parents' behavior and not the other way around. So, training mothers and fathers is essential, it is the fastest way to see the changes and strengthen them. It is absurd to take a child with this type of problem to a professional office and expect them to solve everything on their own and that at home we do nothing or, worse yet , continue to make the same mistakes in managing frustration and aggressiveness .

A POSSIBLE CHANGE: Tell you that the resolution of these behavioral problems is possible and that the vast majority of cases are resolved. It is true that in some cases or exceptional situations, success is much more complex because there are many factors that play simultaneously in this type of behavior and that are not solely the responsibility of the person who develops these moments of aggression. But except in specific cases, it is normal that with work (a lot of work), perseverance and discipline, these aggressive behaviors disappear and tomorrow become anecdotal events of low intensity.

AS SOON AS POSSIBLE: On the other hand, these advices do not help us because we may have to wait some time for these behaviors to disappear because all these behavioral manifestations to be seen obey a stage of development that our children do not present with normal development sometimes. Nor can we explain or negotiate with words because they do not understand the language well or in everyday life there are so many causes such as the temperature, something they ate, a noise that they do not like, and we cannot also expect that what turned out one day will be equally effective the next. following. This is what we call inconsistency in these behaviors.

IF WE DON'T ACT: And what we find at the level of parental strategy, what generally happens is that the simplest and most apparently effective thing is to give them the pleasure if they want something, with food, something to self-stimulate or not work or console them to avoid any displeasure but what will happen? that this is not the way to manage frustration and aggressiveness because parents will be prisoners of their children's inappropriate reactions and with little capacity for management and reaction. Most parents try to talk to them, explain to them, which is often completely useless, so while the number of tantrums, crying and poorly handled tantrums constantly increases, parents' anxiety increases, with a feeling of helplessness, frustration and low self-esteem for not knowing how to control our children, whom, despite everything, we love deeply.

Don't miss the next article where we will talk specifically about Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) as the first cause of behavioral problems in children with developmental difficulties!

Cristina Oroz Bajo