Take care of yourself, recover, rediscover your new identity because it is clear that you are not the same, motherhood is something that transforms not only your daily life but your partner, your leisure, your self-image, your system of preferences, your body! There is a lot of talk about family conciliation in relation to work but before that the mother also has to make another type of conciliation, the maternal one, that of the wife, that of the friend, that of the daughter, that of the “wife”.

I think this is where we should put all our attention, on that person who wants to resurface but not with the same image or doing the same things or in the same way.

We must mainly attend to 3 aspects:

The body. Cultivating healthy habits reorganizes the mind. Exercise, whatever the discipline, allows us to take care of our body not in an exclusively aesthetic way but as a support system for the mind, it will reoxygenate our thinking, our will and our ego.

The mind. We have to organize our will, our desires, concerns and restore the grief that comes with returning to “real life” that is no longer real for us. Leisure, relationships, work... have been transformed or have disappeared or have deteriorated... in short, they have changed, like our identity, and we have to do a self-reflective and arduous exercise in our entire "new life." On many occasions they have taken up hobbies that we kept in the trunk of memories, they have become entrepreneurial work mothers compatible with their new life goals, they have reinvented their relationship with each other... It is a moment of crisis that gives rise to a new resurgence of the person and this moment of inflection makes well-oriented an incredible opportunity to pursue dreams, meet expectations and reinvent oneself as a person with amazing strength and determination. I will only address one aspect, keeping in mind that your partner does not live this moment as you do, so once again we have to be subtle diplomats so as not to destabilize our partners too much since we run the risk of them being left adrift.

The social environment. With motherhood and parenting we realize that our circles change, our childless friendships grow apart, and other family structures are drawn out of empathy into this circle of ours. It is also true that the mother's social circle is more affected than the father's, but don't worry, this readjustment is natural and little by little we will recover and create new environments of relief for ourselves. Try to get out of your circle of comfort and meet new people. that makes you vibrate and makes you feel again how you want to feel, locate your shortcomings and work on them tirelessly and with determination but with firm footing, find yourself again in those situations where you are you in all your splendor and clean the rust from your being social.

Do you want to have more patience with your family? Start by having it for yourself, for what is yours, what makes you alive, what gives you feedback; to rediscover your identity. Then, you will be ready to demonstrate how the patience that comes out of you has also changed, believe me!

Cristina Oroz Bajo