May 26, 2017 by Cristina Oroz Bajo

Lying with your children until they fall asleep is not a bad habit.

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In reality, there are some miserable nights but generally it is a unique and beautiful time. I would be lying if I said that I didn't enjoy watching my children float between wakefulness and sleep, being magical and intimate, being how I imagined being a father before I actually had children. Sometimes, in the dark, my children nestle against me, holding their sweet hair close, the feel of their warm cheeks against my neck, or their hearts beating wildly in their chests – and I am moved with gratitude almost with tears in my eyes. .

I had heard all the arguments about why lying with your children until they fall asleep is a bad habit. It's the number one kind of habit you're supposed to break when your kids are babies. Except, if you don't do it or they do quilting while breastfeeding. So as they get older, what if they develop holding hands or stroking their back until they are asleep? And then, even after they get through all that, what if they ask you to lie there, soothing them with your presence until they are fast asleep? You might think... How will they learn to calm down? How will they learn to fall asleep without you? Aren't you going to create dependent children who never learn to function in the world without you? The answer to the last question is unequivocal. Numerous studies have shown that the closer children are, the more confident and independent they become. It makes sense when you think about it: Giving children security makes them feel secure and able to function easily in the world.

I sleep with my kids because they love me, because it's something we've always done, and because it comes naturally to us. Even though I often resent those extra 10 to 20 minutes of waiting, it's really just a handful of minutes in. my day, but They mean the world to my children. I sleep with them because between school, work, meals, homework, and other commitments, it's rare that we have moments of silence and closeness as beautiful and profound as those right before bed. I sleep with them because even I don't like falling asleep alone and my children are required to have that extra security that even adults crave. I sleep with them on nights when they are stressed, restless, or just need me and don't know why. Because I know that the days of needing me so much are numbered. I sleep with my sons because I know that boys are often taught to be tougher than this, to fulfill their needs and desires, and I think it's a dangerous way for boys (and men) to function. I sleep with them because they ask me to and I'm willing.

Yes, sometimes at the end of my long days as a mom, lying in the dark is the last place I want to be. Yes, sometimes I am agitated, hungry, touched. Sometimes I find myself clenching my teeth tightly to keep from letting out my screams of frustration. But I also know that these minutes that my children slip into the safety of my arms or my presence are exactly the ones that carry the most weight for my children – and for me. And I wouldn't change that for anything.

Text adapted by Cristina Oroz Bajo extracted from Wendi Wisner; Writer and Lactation Consultant; The Motherhood Experience.

Source: http://www.scarymommy.com/lying-down-with-your-kids-until-they-fall-asleep-is-not-bad-habit/

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Child development

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