How to learn to manage frustration and emotions in our children?

Frustration is a feeling of sadness, disappointment and disappointment that appears when a desire, a project, an illusion or a need is not fulfilled or satisfied. Children experience a large number of emotions such as anger, sadness, anguish, anxiety, etc. All of us, at some point in our lives, have experienced this feeling, but we normally have motivational and emotional tools that help us manage it correctly and that is why it is necessary to work on these aspects with our little ones.
The way in which children express their frustration can be in different ways. For example, acting rebelliously towards authority, such as their parents, caregivers and playmates. In young children it can occur in the form of the well-known "tantrums." However, other children may express this frustration through destructive and dangerous attitudes as a way of channeling it , hitting or breaking objects (Some more serious cases may lead to self-harm). Some children may also express it in a much more emotional way, expressing feelings of sadness, demotivation and anxiety.
That is why it is tremendously important to resort to emotional work . Here are some tips that can work to manage your child's frustration and emotions from home.
- Reinforce him positively: Surely there are many conflictive situations but sometimes we stop seeing those occasions in which frustration could have come out but he knew how to handle it , that is where we want you to pay attention, look for situations to mark them positively as anchoring the flag of what Yes, we want it to happen, this is a super important exercise in almost all the situations that we want to work on with our children, let's point out the good, the ability, the achievement... so our children will have a clearer path to where we want to take them!!! Any small step your little one makes should be celebrated.
- Help the child accept what cannot be changed: It is often said that problems do not exist because if there is a solution , it is solved, and if there is not, it is not a problem but rather a fact . There are things that simply cannot be changed and that is where our little ones have to feel that we understand them and accompany them throughout the entire process of “feeling” this process, from when it goes up to when it goes down. There is a phrase that we love: The more nervous you are, the calmer I am." When we experience these moments, personal issues come to light in us, our own frustrations or that we simply personalize what is happening by enlarging and enhancing the action when deep down we have to be containers of our children's emotions .
- Look for situations when you are not directly involved in them: Ask your child to name all the things that make him angry, when we have non-verbal children... a picture is worth a thousand words, use images to, outside of the situation itself, work on the situation generating empathy, understanding and reasoning . It is very important not to do this exercise at the moment of frustration when the rational part is more blocked than the emotional part. These photos can help us, after identifying them as sources of frustration , invite your child to tear them into small pieces (this provides a much-needed physical release of emotion) and throw them into the air. Then put the pieces together and throw them away forever.
- Deep breathing . You've probably heard a lot about the power of deep breathing lately, and for good reason. When done correctly, deep breathing can calm a child's senses and help them get through a frustrating event without resorting to screaming. The best time to practice deep breathing is when you are both calm. Until they get used to it, children tend to associate deep breathing with fast breathing, which has the opposite effect. It is important to work on these skills before we need them so that we have the skill before we need it in a stressful situation. We can do the exercise of... I breathe the flower that I have in one hand and I blow up the balloon that I have in the other! In a graphic way we do this as a daily activity that can then make our child connect with... the flower... the balloon... when we really need it, or we can do it ourselves to prepare ourselves to face these difficult situations, when our child sees us he will identify that It is time to take control of our emotions and let them pass until they end and we relocate emotionally again.
- Teach the relaxation traffic light: In addition to teaching that red means stop , yellow means slow down , and green means go , you need to go a step further by teaching them to visualize a red light to stop in a moment of frustration. This is when they can take advantage of deep breathing to calm their minds and bodies. When they turn yellow, they should think of three possible solutions (Ask for help? Try again? Ask a question?). When they see the green light, they can choose an option and move forward. Go ahead and create a large traffic light out of construction paper to stick on your refrigerator for reference. Over time, this process will become second nature and crises will fade.
“When you have a doubt about what to do or not to do, always do,
because if you make a mistake you will have the experience,
and if you don't do it, you will be left with frustration!”
(Alejandro Jodorowsky)
Leave a reply
Leave a reply Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked with *